The Installation

 is the fourteenth episode of Recreation.

Plot
C.T. and his men attempt to use the elephant to open the temple. Tucker explains that they've been trying to do this since they forced him into it and it's not working, going as far as to state that the temple is made out of super-rock. Tucker then argues with the Reds about what the weapon does after Sarge says they should turn it on. However during this Caboose runs off prompting Tucker to freak out. Tucker then berates the Reds for being dumb before they point out that Caboose is on his team. Grif then makes fun of Tucker until Tucker states that he fucked Griff's sister. Back at Valhalla, Simmons tells Lopez about The Meta and that they should get big guns to kill The Meta. Lopez goes inside and Simmons grabs the rocket launcher. Unfourtinately Simmons misses and blows up the motorcycle. Just as the Meta is about to kill Simmons, Lopez presumably kills the Meta after hitting him with two rockets from the missile pod. Then berates Simmons for using the word Simmonsized. Back at Sandtrap, the team discovers that Caboose has found a new body for his best friend.

Characters

 * List of characters in Red vs. Blue

Red Team

 * Sarge
 * Grif
 * Simmons
 * Lopez

Blue Team

 * Church
 * Caboose
 * Tucker
 * Sister (mentioned only)

Others

 * The Meta
 * Epsilon

Transcript
''Starts in Sandtrap. The Elephant is seen ramming into the temple’s door. The camera then cuts to inside the temple, where Tucker, Sarge, Grif, and Caboose are seen.''

Grif: The hell are they doing out there?

Tucker: They’ve been trying to blast their way in here ever since I locked it down. They’re not having much luck though, ARE YOU, FUCKING ASSHOLES? The stuff looks like rock, but it’s way tougher.

Grif: What’s tougher than rock?

Caboose: Paper.

Tucker: How the fuck should I know? Super rock? What am I, some kind of, geographist?

Sarge: They have some kind of big machine out there.

Tucker: Yeah, they just got that thing. I think they think they’re gonna hit this door off with it. Not fucking happening.

Sarge: They wanna get their hands on that weapon?

Tucker: Yeah, we can’t let them turn it on, no matter what happens.

Sarge: Well, why don’t we just turn it on and use it against them?

Tucker: The fuck, what!? We don’t know what it does! We can turn it on and it could make us all sterile.

Caboose is seen in the background running into a different room.

Grif: Would it do that?

Tucker: Well, the last weapon we found was designed to wipe out all organic life in a huge radius.

Grif: (whistles) Wow. … What’s a, radius?

Tucker: I don’t know, they just made me learn this crap for my dumb job. Point is, don’t touch anything. You hit the wrong button or flip the wrong switch, we’ll all be dead before you can say—Where’s Caboose?

Sarge: Uh, I don’t think that’s how that expression goes.

Tucker: No, I mean where the fuck is Caboose?

Sarge: Oh yeah… he does have a habit of wandering off. He’s been trying to wreak(?) equipment to do something. We don’t really know what. That boy is not quite right, you know?

Tucker: What? I just said not to touch anything, and you guys went and walk away to find equipment? What the hell is wrong with you? Man, I swear, you guys have always been idiots, but this takes the cake!

Grif: Hey! He’s on your team, asshole.

Tucker: Oh. Right. …Hey, uh, so if you guys aren’t doing anything, you wanna help me go find Caboose?

Sarge: Let’s go.

Sarge and Grif begin to walk off passed Tucker.

Grif: So embarrassing for you…

Tucker: Just go find the guy.

Grif: So sad…

Tucker: I fucked your sister.

''Cuts to Valhalla. Lopez is working on another motorcycle, humming to himself. Simmons is seen in the background charging in.''

Simmons: Loooopeeeezzz!!

Lopez: ''No! I just fixed this. This one is mine. Stay away!''

Simmons: He’s here! He’s here!

Lopez: Who?

Simmons: The bad guy! The guy who wants to kill us!

Lopez: You’re going to have to be more specific than that.

A rocket shot by the Meta flies by and crashes into the Red Base.

Simmons: The Meta! He’s here!

Lopez: ''What? Here? I thought he was dead.''

Simmons: Oh geez, look out!

''Simmons and Lopez duck. A rocket flies overhead.''

Simmons: Son of a bitch!

Lopez: Son of a bitch!

Simmons: Lopez! We need some big guns.

Lopez: ''Okay. That I can do.''

Simmons: I’ll grab the rocket launcher. (picks up rocket launcher while Lopez goes inside the base) Just grab whatever you can, Lopez! I’m trained to handle this weapon. (stands by the motorcycle Lopez was fixing) Lopez? Anybody?

''The Meta is seen approaching the entrance which Lopez had entered in. He pauses upon seeing Simmons.''

Simmons: All right, you bastard! Prepare to get “Simmonsized!”

''Simmons fires a rocket, which hits the motorcycle. Simmons and the Meta watch as the vehicle flies over the Meta and lands to the side of the base, on fire. The Metal growls and turns his attention back to Simmons.''

Simmons: Well, fuck me.

''Missiles crash into the Meta from the base’s entrance. He flees from them.''

Lopez: (walks outside the base with a missile pod) Did you seriously just say “Simmonsized?”

Simmons: Lopez!

Lopez: ''Shut the fuck up. You broke my motorcycle again.''

''Cuts to the temple in Sandtrap, where Caboose is standing with the Epsilon unit. The A.I. unit is making noise. Caboose darts to the side and examines a box.''

Caboose: No. (examines a cylindrical object) No. (discovers something buried in the dirt) Hmm…

Scene cuts to the Elephant outside the temple.

Intercom: Just open the temple and you can leave. We’ll take what we want; no one has to get hurt.

Cuts back inside the temple.

Tucker: Shut up, idiot! I should’ve stabbed that fucking speaker while I was out there.

Grif: Caboose!

Tucker: Caboose, where are you?

Sarge: Hey, Blue! Hope you’re not dead! Now that there’s two of ya, we finally have a fair fight! Come on out here so we can kill ya!

Tucker: [with his voice low] Hey guys, shut up, do you hear that?

Caboose: [to the Epsilon unit] Would you be quiet? See, you’re gonna get me in trouble.

Voice: Trouble? Fuck that.

Tucker: Who’s he talking to? Aw, crap! Did somebody break into the temple?

Caboose: Shut up—okay, see, you broke that. See, that was your fault.

Voice: That, that was already broken.

Tucker: Whew! (withdraws his sword) All right, let’s charge in there and take these assholes out. On my mark. …That means when I say “go.”

Grif: That voice sounds familiar.

Sarge: Yeah. I find it annoying and grating for some reason.

Caboose: Okay, just stop moving around, hold still!

Voice: I am holding still, you’re the one that’s moving.

Tucker: Yeah, that’s sounds like—

Voice: Get your hands off me! Fuck it!

Caboose: Do not start, Church!

Tucker, Sarge, Grif: Church!?

''The three run around the corner. Caboose and the floating Epsilon unit turn to see them. After a brief silence…''

Caboose: I can explain.

Epsilon-Church: Who the fuck are these guys?

Sarge: Who brought the floating bowling ball? Where’s the thumbhole?

Video
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