Evacuation Plan

Evacuation Plan is the 4th episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 9

Red Team

 * Sarge
 * Simmons
 * Donut
 * Grif (Voice Only)
 * Chupathingy
 * The Motorcycle

Blue Team

 * Epsilon-Church
 * Tucker
 * Caboose

Project Freelancer

 * Agent Carolina
 * F.I.L.S.S.
 * Agent North Dakota
 * Agent South Dakota
 * Pilot "Four Seven Niner"

Plot
The episode begins with Tucker and Caboose talking about helping Church. Caboose concludes that he can't help Church from this angle. Church tells the Reds what they are doing wrong, but they all disagree with what he is saying except for Simmons, who is doesn't seem to have changed at all. Donut decides he's heard enough and points his assault rifle at Church. In response, Church tells him to start keeping a journal or a diary to express himself before he limps back to Blue Base while the Reds begin to discuss Church's nerve. Donut accidentally reveals that he has a diary and leaves to go write about his experience, much to Grif's dismay as Donut is tracking mud through the base. Sarge and Simmons continue to talk about Church, saying that while he was talking nonesense, he was so sure of himself.

The scene changes to the destruction of the Bjordinal Cryogenics Research Facility, with a Pelican carying North, South, and Carolina flying away. Carolina, who is co-piloting, answers an incoming transmission from F.I.L.S.S. They begin a conversation about the mission and about how the Director was right to send Carolina along on the mission despite North and South's reaction. South straps North into a seat on the Pelican while she checks the Pelican's six o'clock to see if its being followed. Two Longswords begin to follow them and a chase ensues. The Longswords begin to attack, so the Pilot manuvers behind the fighters. Carolina fires missles at the Longswords who dodge them and get a missle lock on the Pelican. South comes into the cockpit angered and begins to yell at the Pilot to avoid the missles. The Pilot asks South to do her a favor. When South asks what, the Pilot locks the cockpit door to shut her up. The Pilot avoids the missles by deploying flares while performing a barrel roll. South is shown being thrown around in the back of the Pelican and states her hatred of flying before she is knocked out. The Pilot warns everyone the flight may get "crashy" before flying into a canyon. As she flies out of the canyon, she clears North for equipment usage. North straps South into a seat. Due to the damage he recieved, his helmet malfunctions, so he removes it. He climbs out the Pelican and deploys his Domed Energy Shield to protect the Pelican from missles deployed by the Longswords. The Pelican reaches the rendezvous point, but increases its speed in order to make it. As it does so, North is thrown back into the Pelican. At the rendezvous, an energy blast takes out one of the Longswords as the shooter, a UNSC Frigate called "Mother of Invention", comes out from behind the clouds. The other Longsword tries to retreat, but it is destroyed as well. The Pelican begins to land and F.I.L.S.S. states that medical personel will be waiting in the landing bay for North.

Transcription
Caboose: What happened?

Tucker: One of the Reds just shot Church in the foot.

Church: Ow, that fuckin' hurt!

Tucker: Do you think we should try to help?

Caboose: I don't really see how we can, I can't really get a clear shot of Church from this angle.

Church: Ow, man you guys are a bunch of dicks. I just got this foot.

Simmons: Four minutes left.

Church: I just wanna say, that you guys are all mixed up. You're doing it wrong.

Donut: Doing what wrong?

Church: This, your team, like, where's Grif?

Donut: He's in the base cleaning up, he loves to keep things tidy.

Church: No, no, no, see? That's not right, this isn't the way things are supposed to be. It got all confused somehow. Grif isn't tidy at all, he's filthy.

Simmons: He's gonna wash his hands for a week if he hears you say that.

Church: Grif, come on, get out here man!

Grif: I'm doing my second coat of floor wax! That's when the shine comes to life. I'll be out in a minute.

Church: Ugh, Sarge come on, be Sarge, yell at him. Get him out here.

Sarge: Why would I yell at a subordinate? Seems unfair to yell at someone who can't yell back.

Church: What? That s- what?!

Sarge: Hey, sorry about calling you fellas subordinates.

Church: This is so lame.

Sarge: No offense meant.

Donut: None taken, boss.

Simmons: I actually kinda like being talked down to.

Church: Okay, seriously? Sarge, come on. You love being in charge, tell these guys to, you know, shape up or do something.

Sarge: Well, I guess they could be doin' a better job.

Donut: How?

Sarge: Uhh, I just want you guys to feel like you're reachin' your full potential.

Donut: I know I am.

Simmons: Me too.

Donut: My potential is so full, I feel like I could fill up a couple other soldiers' potentials.

Simmons: God, dammit, mines just the regular kind of full.

Church: And Donut, come on, man. This isn't you, you're supposed to be, you know, free spirited. Not some kind of repressed, overachieving jarhead.

Simmons: One minute left.

Church: Dude, what fuckin' clock are you using? It's only been like fifteen seconds.

Simmons: Yeah? Well, what about me, blue guy? Am I supposed to be different too, you know, someone less nerdy and not lonely every second of the day?

Church: No, you're pretty much spot on, Simmons.

Simmons: Oh, okay. Great.

Donut: I've heard just about all I want out of this guy.

Church: Uh, I'm leaving, just remember, this isn't the way things are meant to be. You know it, and I know it. Donut, you're a nice guy. You're not a jerk, try expressing yourself a little bit. You know, like, start keeping a uh, like a journal, or a diary or something like that.

Donut: *clearing his throat*A what?

Church: Nevermind, nevermind. I'm leaving, I'm leaving. I'm gonna limp home now, okay? Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Sarge: The nerve of that guy. He's just tryin' to get in our heads. Right?

Donut: *mumbling* How did he know about my diary?

Simmons: Your what?

Donut: Nothing! I have, I have to go, log, log this in, in my logbook.

Grif: DONUT! Don't track mud in here, you know better!

Sarge: What do you think, Simmons?

Simmons: Hard to say, sir. He was talking nonsense, but he sounded so sure of himself. I think he should count himself lucky he got out of this one alive.

Cue back to the Research Center being destroyed.

Four-Seven-Niner: Incoming transmission.

Carolina: I got it, this is vehicle Four-Seven-Niner, go for secure.

F.I.L.S.S: Secure, hello Agent Carolina.

Carolina: Good morning, F.I.L.S.S. Nice to hear your voice.

F.I.L.S.S: Is this a bad time? You sound, occupied.

Carolina: The LZ got a little, hot. We may be late for the rendezvous, but we'll get there. Don't leave without us.

F.I.L.S.S: Understood, it sounds like the Director was right to send you along to assist the teams.

Carolina: Seems that way, can't say everyone on board feels the same.

F.I.L.S.S: All Agents accounted for, excellent work.

Carolina: F.I.L.S.S, I see a blank spot in the head count. Please verify.

F.I.L.S.S: We will see you at the rendezvous, Agent Carolina. Fly safe, and have a nice day.

Carolina: Roger that, Carolina out. South, check our six.S

South Dakota: Heads up, we've got company back here.

Two Longswords fly behind the Pelican.

Four-Seven-Niner: Who are your friends?

Carolina: Just some people we met at the party.

Four-Seven-Niner: They seem nice.

The Longswords open fire on the Pelican, while Four-Seven-Niner maneuvers around them.

Carolina: Nice moves, firing missiles.

Carolina fires the missiles, but the Longswords evade them with ease.

South Dakota: Can't you get us out of here?!

Four-Seven-Niner: I'm working on it.

The lock on light begins beeping.

South Dakota: What's that noise?

Four-Seven-Niner: They have missile lock.

South Dakota: That's bad.

Four-Seven-Niner: Yeah, that's bad.

South Dakota: Take evasive maneuvers!

Four-Seven-Niner: I'm trying.

South Dakota: Well, try harder!

Four-Seven-Niner: Hey South? Do me a favor, would ya?

South Dakota: What?

Four-Seven-Niner seals the door to the loading dock.

Four-Seven-Niner: Thanks.

South Dakota: You stupid bitch!

The Longswords fire their missiles at the Pelican.

Four-Seven-Niner: Releasing flares.

Four-Seven-Niner fires off flares to deter the missiles, but still ends up getting hit.

South: I hate flying!

''South Dakota is thrown around the loading bay and is knocked out. North Dakota begins regaining consciousness.''

Four-Seven-Niner: Hey, everyone hold on back there. Things are gonna get a little umm...

Carolina: Bumpy?

Four-Seven-Niner: Yeah, well I was gonna say crashy, but bumpy works.

Four-Seven-Niner flies the Pelican into an ice canyon to try and avoid the Longswords' missiles, to a bit of success.

Carolina: Counter-measures completed. North, get moving. I'm clearing you for equipment usage.

Four-Seven-Niner: Whatever you're gonna do back there, do it fast.

North Dakota: Stay safe, kiddo.

Four-Seven-Niner: North, North!

North Dakota starts making his way to the ladder, with the HUD on his helmet flashing Helmet malfunction, takes off his helmet and tosses it aside as he climbs the ladder, working his way to the middle of the Pelican.

North Dakota: Well, here goes nothin'.

The Longswords fire off another volley of missiles, but are blocked off when North activates his drop shield.

The Pelican then starts heading downward towards the ocean.

Carolina: Pull up, pull up!

''The Pelican manages to get balanced before crashing into the ocean. ''

The rendezvous light begins flashing.

Carolina: There's the rendezvous point, if we're gonna make it, you better punch it.

''North Dakota collapses back into the loading bay in critical condition. A yellow beam is shot in the distance, destroying one of the Longswords.''

Carolina: Whoa!

The clouds begin to clear, revealing the UNSC Frigate Mother of Invention, which fires off another beam from where the MAC would be, destroying the other fleeing Longsword.

Four-Seven-Niner: Mother of Invention, we're inbound.

F.I.L.S.S: We will have medical personnel waiting for you in the landing bay. Welcome home, Four-Seven-Niner.

Carolina: Thank you F.I.L.S.S. Good to be home.