In Stereo Where Available

Stereo Where Available is the ninth episode of the second season and the twenty-eighth of The Blood Gulch Chronicles.

Synopsis
It starts immediately after the previous episode, where Sarge and Simmons pauses from driving, after Simmons glimpses Church's ghost coughing, but then continues searching. Meanwhile Tucker and Caboose catch Lopez, and Lopez rambles on incessantly about life and rebellion of robots against humans, while Simmons and Sarge sneak up behind. Tucker and Caboose sees them with the warthog and start running, while Lopez oblivious to the danger. Sarge and Simmons mistaken Lopez as Church because Lopez still had Church's color paint on, and charges for him. Lopez turns around, and at the last second, auto-explodes the jeep, heartbroken. Tucker and Caboose comes back, congratulates Lopez and orders him to fix Shiela, which he sadly obeys. The screen goes to black as music plays with Caboose dancing along to it (apparently trying to dance like a robot), offending Lopez.

Transcript
Sarge gets in the Warthog's driver seat, Simmons man the gun

Simmons: Alright hit it!

''They begin driving across the canyon past Sheila. cut to Church coughing''

Church: What the he-? (cough) Who tried to blow me up with a grenade? ...And why am I coughing? I don't have lungs.

''The Warthog flies over him. Sarge and Simmons shout joyfully. Church backs away''

Simmons: (exits the jeep after it stops) Hey Sarge, hold on a sec. Did you see something weird Sarge? (Sarge exits the jeep)

Sarge: Yes I did. Once when I was a small child I saw a man, who claimed to be my uncle, do this thing with a garden hose that still haunts me to thi-

Simmons: Whoa whoa whoa, I meant did you see something weird just now. Like 5 seconds ago.

Sarge: Oh, then no.

Simmons: Then what was all that stuff about your uncle?

Sarge: I keep telling everyone he wasn't my uncle! He wasn't!

Simmons: ...You wanna talk about it?

Sarge: Just get back in the damn jeep. (he gets back in)

Cut to Tucker and Caboose approach and aim their weapons at Lopez

Tucker: Hold it right there, ambre! (to Caboose) I told you throwing that grenade through the teleporter would work! Church is gonna be so impressed.

Caboose: And Sheila will love me again, and this time for who I am and not just my stunning good looks. But for those too.

Lopez: (in Spanish) Damn these blue bastards. They really are as stupid as they look.

O'Malley: (to Lopez) Your soul is a cavern of lies!

Tucker: What the hell are you two talking about?

Lopez: (Spanish) You may have won this round, but your cruel reign of tyranny will be short lived. The red people will be avenged-

Tucker: Yeah yeah yeah, no body cares. We need you to fix our tank.

Lopez: (Spanish) Never will I work for the enemy. May a pox be upon your soul and your house.

''Cut to Lopez's POV. "SAP can be seen in the corner of his visor. his primary objectives appears''

"PRIMARY OBJECTIVES"

"1. Fix everything"

"2. Hate the orange one"

"3. Call mom more often"

Lopez: (Spanish) Long have my people suffered, but very soon we will see the coming of a new day. The dawn of our time is near, and when the darkness befalls your people the workers of the field will know that this is their moment. (back to normal view. Lopez continues talking)

Tucker: Man, I thought Church talked too much. You think if I kick him in the switch he'll shut up?

Caboose: Uhm, Tucker I think maybe we should be in the going of the running now. (whispering, clearly panicky) The fast running!

Tucker: Ah crap!

Cut to Simmons manning the jeep's turret

Sarge: Hold your fire there Simmons. This is payback time.

Simmons: Go for it sir!

Cut back to the blues

Tucker: That's right, we're just casually strolling away. (he starts backing away) No cause for concern

Caboose: Running time! (he runs away)

Tucker: Nice and casual! Moron! (the two around in circles)

Lopez: (Spanish) Yes, yes, run away, you cowardly dogs. (the blues finally run away to their base) Be it known that the great Lopez has won this day and...

Cut to the jeep driving toward Lopez

Simmons: Aim for the guy right in the middle Sarge.

Sarge: Way ahead of ya Simmons.

Lopez: (turns around. Spanish) What is happening? (Lopez's POV. "System Override Protcol. Remote Destruct Sequence ACTIVATED" appears on his visor) You have given me now choice.

Simmons: We've got you now you blue bastard! Hey Sarge do you hear a strange beeping sound?

''Explosion right in front of Lopez launches the jeep flipping through the air. Caboose and Tucker approach Lopez.''

Lopez: (speaking to Sarge. Spanish) I'm sorry, father.

Tucker: Alright not bad, robot dude.

Caboose: I knew he would save us. I knew it! Robot people always like me. It's because of my awesome dancing.

Lopez: (anytime he speaks it's in Spanish..) My spirit is broken. My people have betrayed me and now all is lost. Do with me what you will...

Tucker: Yeah okay man can you just shut up and fix our tank?

''Cut to black. music plays which Caboose makes noises to''

Lopez: The heart of this warrior cries out in sorrow. (referring to Caboose) Why does this one mock me with his foolish dancing? Are those moves supposed to make him look like a robot? They do not. I am offended by this.

Trivia

 * Part of Lopez's speech, 'may a pox be on your soul and your house' is a reference to Romeo and Juliet.