Red vs. Blue: Relocated Part Three

Part Three of Red vs Blue: Relocated

Plot
The Reds manage to get their long-range communications back online and call Lopez. He reveals that he recently killed Sister and that the Reds have won the ongoing war at Blood Gulch. Lopez arrives shortly thereafter and quickly builds an underground holographic testing facility for the Red Team's mechanical creations.

Characters

 * List of characters in Red vs. Blue

Red Team

 * Simmons
 * Sarge
 * Grif
 * Lopez

Blue Team

 * Caboose
 * Sister (Mentioned Only)

Trivia

 * Sarge has finally seemed to understand Spanish.
 * Lopez has a CQB chest plate instead of a MRK VI chest plate in this episode.

Transcript
Tilt up to Grif on top of New Red Base

Sarge: Grif, we're gonna need you to clear that blockage.

Grif: How? These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?

Sarge: Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength.

Grif: Yeah? Well, what about people in situations where they really don't give a fuck? What kind of powers do they get?

Sarge: Grif!

Simmons: If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade.

Grif: Um, is that safe?

Simmons: None of this is safe. You're gonna start analyzing now?

Sarge: Here, Grif, take one of mine.

''Sarge throws a grenade at Grif and misses. The grenade explodes.''

Simmons: Sarge, you pulled the pin out.

Sarge: Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in? Hey, Grif, catch this one.

Sarge throws another grenade at Grif and misses.

Grif: No! I'm not catching those.

Sarge: Dammit, I can't reach.

The grenade rolls down the side of the base and explodes close to Sarge and Simmons

Simmons: Aah! Cut it out!

Grif: Yeah! Let me get back to work up here.

A rocket flies past Grif

Sarge: Did ya' catch that one?

Grif: Okay, here we go. (Throws grenade) Oh shit! Where do I go when the grenade is...

''An enormous explosion throws Grif into the air. Debris rains down on Simmons and Sarge.''

Simmons: Oh no, he's falling.

Sarge: I see that!

Simmons: Should we try to catch him?

Sarge: Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us.

Simmons: What do we do?

Sarge: I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win.

Simmons: You used to jump out of ships. Give him some advice!

Sarge: Oh, right. Grif,you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorganized!

Simmons: Advice on how to land!

Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, what you wanna do is...

''After an incredible amount of screaming, Grif hits the ground. Regardless, Sarge continues to talk.''

Sarge: ...Try to tuck and roll at the last second. That will transfer your momentum to inertia, and invert your ker-splat probability.

Simmons: Hey, Sarge?

Sarge: Yeah?

Simmons: I think he's down already.

Sarge: Oh, right.

Grif: Owwww..........

Sarge: (laughs) Simmons, you are observant!

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