Reconstruction Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of Red vs. Blue: Reconstruction aired on June 2, 2008 as the 112th episode overall.

Synopsis
As the chapter begins Agent Washington is at Outpost 1: Blood Gulch. Unfortunately, most of the soldiers who were based in Blood Gulch during the Blood Gulch Chronicles have been assigned to new, undisclosed locations. The only soldiers left are Sister, who believes that Washington is a "cop", Sarge, who has refused his reassignment orders, and Lopez, who has a new body and is aiding Sarge in guarding Red Base. Sarge proves more helpful than Sister, and says that Caboose can help Washington, the former having been infected by Omega briefly. Sarge sends Lopez to get the Blue reassignment files for Washington.

In the sponsor version, when Sarge says "ohm chicka ohm chicka". Lopez responds with the robotic sound "edeloo". They continually make a beat with the help of Sister, the Warthog, and the Teleporter.

Red Team

 * Sarge
 * Lopez
 * Grif (Fake and Mentioned Only)
 * Simmons (Fake and Mentioned Only)
 * Donut (Fake)
 * Chupathingy

Blue Team

 * Sister
 * Caboose (Mentioned Only)

Project Freelancer

 * Agent Washington
 * The Director (Only Voice)

Others

 * The Chairman (Mentioned Only)

Transcript
Voice: A response, from the Director of Project Freelancer. Dear Chairman.

Fade in to the old familiar Gulch, where so much has happened already

Director: While I am obligated to assist your investigation, I ask that you not waste my time with irrelevant questions. My agency is normally unconcerned with such minute directives as troop reassignment. Except of course, in the most critical of matters.

Cut to Washington in front of an apparently abandoned Blue Base

Washington: Hello? Hello. Anybody here?

Radio sounds

Washington: Recovery One calling Command. Come in Command.

Command: Go ahead Recovery One, we have you.

Washington: I'm at Outpost 1-A. Looks deserted.

Command: Roger that. See if you can find any evidence that would suggest where they all might have-

A yellow and angry soldier appears in the base

Sister: Hey! A-hole! What's with all the noise? People are trying to sleep here!

Washington: Um... scratch that Command. It appears I've found someone. Recovery One out.

Sister descends the ramp slowly, as if hungover

Sister: Ohhh man.

Washington: Hi. I'm Agent Washington. This is Blue Base, correct?

Sister: It was.

Washington: Was?

Sister: Everybody's gone. Transferred. Something about this base being obsolete now, or, whatever.

Washington: Rright. Where did they go?

Sister: I don't know! All different places. Nobody told me anything.

Washington: Well, I'm trying to locate some people who have experience with the Freelancer program.

Sister: Freelancer? Is that the band we had here last night?

Washington: You had a party here?

Sister: Hyeah! I throw raves every night. Charge five bucks a head. Last night, I made ten bucks. Ooah ooah! Nice.

Washington: You use the base for raves? That doesn't seem like the proper use for official resources.

Sister: What're you, like a cop or something?

Washington: No.

Sister: 'Cause if you are, and I ask you, then you have to tell me. That's totally a law or something.

Washington: I'm not the police. And that's not a real law.

Sister: Well if you're not a cop, then how do you know it's not a real law? Busted!

Washington: You caught me. Hey, is there any-body else... smart... here that I can talk to?

Sister: Hyeah, right. Like I'm gonna tell you. I don't rat people out. Cop.

Washington: Okay, I'm gonna leave now. Good luck with your empty base and your raging insanity.

Sister: Hyeah? Whatever! Good luck with being a cop, cop!

Cut to Washington approaching Red Base, and some more radio sounds

Washington: Come in Command.

Command: Hello Washington. We have you? How was the investigation at Blue Base?

Washington: Enlightening. Going to try the red base now, I'm hoping things there will be a little more...

A pink popup of Donut springs up for no apparent reason

Washington: ...normal.

Sarge: Halt, in the name of the red- *clears throat* I mean "lightish red army. This base is operating at full capacity. And if you come in here, you're gonna get in to a big uhn-uh slap-fight!"

Washington: Heuhhh... I'm gonna have to call you back.

Sarge: Don't come any further, ooh la la.

As Washington continues approaching, a maroon popup of Simmons springs out from behind a rock

Sarge: This is your last warning, stay out! I love math!

Washington: What in the...

Sarge: Your only hope of survival is to kiss my commander's ass!

Washington continues on and an orange popup of Grif filled with bullet holes seems to appear from out of nowhere

Sarge: And this is another warning: I know the other warning was supposed to be last, but I never listen to orders, 'cause I'm too lazy and stupid! And ugly. Did I mention ugly?

Washington: This is gonna be a waste of time, I can tell already.

Sarge pops up in front of Washington

Sarge: Yeah, freeze intruder! Stop yer intrudin' right there.

Washington: Who made these things?

Sarge: I did.

Washington: Wait, you're real?

Sarge: Of course I am. You fell for a classic misdirection. I still got it. Heh heh.

Lopez: ¿Esta todo bien aquí?

Caption: Everything OK out here?

Sarge: We're fine, Lopez. Just caught myself a dirty Blue. How many does that make this week?

Lopez: Uno.

Sarge: Yahtzee. We're on a hot streak!

Washington: Uh, I'm not actually a Blue. I'm from Command.

Sarge lowers his shotgun

Sarge: Command, no kiddin'. I didn't think we were due for inspection.

Washington: You're not. I was hoping you could tell me about the soldiers transferred out of this outpost.

Sarge: You mean Grif and Simmons? Those traitors. I told 'em not to go! The battle here isn't even over yet.

Washington: Um, it looks over to me.

Sarge: Not while there's a single Blue left in this canyon. Which there is: a single Blue. Victory, or death.

Washington: I see.

Sarge: That's why I refused my relocation orders. Obviously Command wasn't thinkin' clearly.

Washington: So, you're AWOL then.

Sarge: I uh... A-what?

Cut to an over the shoulder shot of Sister, disappointingly still clothed

Sister: Don't tell him anything until you talk to a lawyer! You have rights!

Washington: I'm not a cop!

Sarge: Hey! Beat it ya little tramp! Ya see why I can't go?

Washington: Why not just attack her and win then? It would take about ten seconds.

Sister: You're old and I hate you!

Sarge: That's the problem! I can't attack a girl. So we're locked, in an epic stalemate.

Washington: You're kidding me.

Sarge: Plus she's cookin' somethin' up. And I gotta be ready. I hear her runnin' training ops every night! I see them out there with their glow sticks and their tribal drum beats: oom chicka oom chicka oom chicka oom chicka.

Washington: Well. This has been really... informative. But I need to find someone who has experience with artificial intelligence.

Sarge: Alright. You want Caboose then. He got infected for a little while I think.

Washington: Great. Caboose! Do you know where he is?

Sarge: Of course. We intercepted the Blues' orders. I got it right here. Lopez!

Lopez: Sí.

Sarge: Get this guy the Blue Team relocation orders.

Lopez: Sí.

Sarge: Lopez probably converted it in to Spanish, so they might be a little hard to understand.

Washington: Yeah. They wouldn't be the first thing today.

Sister: Shut up cop!

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